When Dr Rachel O’Brien, an education consultant at Independent Schools New South Wales, took the stage at this year’s International Women’s Day assembly, she shared everyday, normal stories in addressing these questions: what do young men think about masculinity and what does it mean to use power well?
In referring to the theme of this year’s International Women’s Day, “Balance the Scales”, Dr O’Brien believes that “most of the ways we balance the scales don’t happen in big, fancy speeches or laws. They happen in everyday relationships”.
Dr O’Brien went on to explain inequality in relation to power. “Being dominant over another person means you’re not equally sharing power with them,” she explained. “When power isn’t shared, when one person’s voice matters more than another’s, that is inequality. That is unequal power, unequal opportunity, and it threatens safety.”
Dr O’Brien was not calling for an end to strength or ambition. She was inviting a reimagining of what those things look like. Masculine energy, she argued, need not be synonymous with dominance or the misuse of power. At its best, it is energy in the service of others.
Her thinking, she noted, was shaped by years of experience and research. While studying to be a PDHPE teacher and working as a nanny to three boys, Dr O’Brien realised that boys were learning important messages about masculinity and power long before they entered the workforce, and those messages were shaping how power gets used later in life. “That’s a big part of what respectful relationships education is about,” she said. “It’s about learning to notice when you have power and when you don’t, being conscious of how your expectations shape that, and learning to use power in ways that are fair, respectful and in the service of others.”
Dr O’Brien has worked closely with the College’s Respectful Relationships Education team, as part of a pilot scheme run through Independent Schools NSW. “Her insights and collaboration have been instrumental in helping our staff reflect thoughtfully and plan intentionally how we balance the scales through a robust and meaningful respectful relationships program here at Joeys,” stated Headmaster Mr Michael Blake.
Panel discussion
Our guest panellists, skilfully moderated by Year 7 Leader of Wellbeing & Formation and Mathematics teacher, Ms Melissa Clancy, highlighted the ongoing need for awareness and action. Year 12 Joe-Boy, Sebastian O, alongside St Leo’s Catholic College school captain, Bailey L, shared their thoughts on the impact of social media on gender roles.
Sebastian noted the positive influence of both male and female teachers in shaping his understanding of gender issues, mentioning specific workshops like Tomorrow Man and motivational speeches at assemblies that “reinforced how we should interact with women in our lives, both family and also friends we might have outside of school”.
Sebastian’s mature understanding was evident as he noted the importance of ongoing dialogue and conversation to address gender disparity in society. “It’s ultimately up to us to decide what type of men we want to be in the future, what type of men we want to create, both in how we interact with other Joe-Boys, but also in how we interact with women in our own lives in the future, once we leave Joeys.”
Bailey discussed the unrealistic expectations set by social media, highlighting the similarities in challenges faced by boys and girls, such as body image issues and societal pressures. “I think that social media, in perpetuating these ideas of what dominant masculinity is, is certainly damaging to boys, but it’s also damaging to the girls and the females in your life,” reflected Bailey.
“It’s just as damaging for women to be expected to not have a career as it is for men to be expected to be that provider, that masculine, dominant force in the house,” she said. “Social media has a lot to answer for with setting unrealistic expectations … I think a lot of the issues that boys face, girls are also facing, just in a different way.”
With a captive audience of 1,100 Joe-Boys, Bailey’s final words were positive: “At the end of the day, we’re more similar than we are different. But to understand these differences, we need to have more conversations like this,” Bailey said.
“It’s ultimately up to us to decide what type of men we want to be in the future.”
SEBASTIAN O (YEAR 12)
This is what being a Joe-Boy is all about
For the students listening, Dr O’Brien’s message carried weight because it wasn’t new. It was a reminder of something already at the heart of the College’s identity. Being a Joe-Boy has always meant learning to use whatever power and privilege you carry for the good of others. Guided by the example of Jesus Christ, Joe-Boys grow into capable and compassionate young men who notice what’s happening in the world and strive to make it better.
“Balancing the scales doesn’t always mean giving power up if you have it,” Dr O’Brien stated. “It does mean carefully choosing how you’re going to use it.” That distinction matters. It transforms the conversation from one about sacrifice to one about responsibility.
One of the most striking moments in Dr O’Brien’s address was her insistence that gender equality is not a competition. “This isn’t an ‘us versus them’ situation,” she said plainly. “It’s not men versus women.”
The barriers that women and girls face, in safety, in opportunity, in being heard, were not inevitable. They were built. And because they were built, they can be dismantled. That work belongs to everyone who cares about fairness and dignity, regardless of gender.
Also on the panel, Ms Maria Casamento reflected on her hope for the future, not only as a teacher at Joeys but as a daughter, sister and aunt of Joe-Boys. “We all want you to leave here to be successful men, and at the heart of that, is having truly wonderful relationships with all the women in your lives. So, I would say, stop listening to social media. Listen to the women in your lives. Listen to the women who are teaching you, to your sisters, to your mothers, to the friends you make.”
“Be a man who shows his strength by being emotionally intelligent and supportive and standing up for the women in their lives and raising them up,” she said. “Be men who make the world safer, fairer and more supportive for everybody in it.”
Celebrating remarkable women
International Women’s Day, Dr O’Brien reminded students and staff, is a celebration of the remarkable women at St Joseph’s College and in every Joe-Boys life. But it is also a promise: that every woman and girl, regardless of background or identity, deserves to be safe, respected and free to shape her own life.
So, what does all of this look like, day to day? Dr O’Brien was deliberate here. She didn’t point to grand gestures or sweeping campaigns. She pointed to the ordinary. It looks like building healthy, safe and equal relationships and hearing others’ stories. It looks like asking questions and genuinely listening to experiences different from your own. It looks like noticing when something is unfair and choosing to say something, do something, be something different. When we do these things, she said, we can “build a culture and a world where both men and women can be equal and free”.
“Every time you notice, you listen and choose to use your power well, you help to balance the scales. Balancing the scales isn’t necessarily about doing big things,” she said. “It’s about everyday actions that make change … little things every day that bring men and women together, not apart.”
Dr O’Brien closed with a challenge that echoes our College motto: each day, in each relationship you have, strive for better things. Not because it’s easy. Not because the work is nearly done. But because the kind of man worth becoming is one who sees inequality and refuses to look away. A man who understands that real strength has always meant lifting others up.
International Women’s Day celebration 2026
